Memory 003: (Backdated to after the Thanksgiving nuclear event)

[forgotten_titan]

(When Tara woke up after her first death, her initial reaction was to throw her quilt covers off and gasp for air. Dying from radiation poisoning is horrible, and the slow death had definitely hit her hard. Things get even more confusing for her when she notices that she's back in her bed, totally healthy and alive. She scrambles for the curtains; the sight of Mayfield, back to normal, both relieves her and scares her.)

Action: 625 Topper Street and around

(Tara's inching out the door of her house nervously. She keeps looking around, half-expecting a cannibal to pop out of nowhere. There's a box out on the doorstep that has her name on it though, so she HAS to go out. Unwrapping it where she stands, her apprehension changes to surprise, then happiness, and then sadness as she stares at the photograph of her and her father that Mayfield had just sent to her.

If you're around, you'll notice her staring glumly at the picture. Wanna ask her how she's feeling?)

Action: Mayfield High
(She seems out of it today. Instead of studiously taking notes like usual during class, she just seems to be staring out the window vacantly, her pencil idly tracing around her books. Teachers may need to grab her attention before they'll get even a reaction out of her, while fellow classmates are free to ask her what's wrong.)

Phone
Ummm...hi, this might sound like a weird question to ask but...does anyone have any practice swords or something that I can borrow?

Comments

[forgotten-titan.livejournal.com]

That obvious, huh?

(She keeps silent for a moment or two, before she finally lets out what's on her mind.)

You know how the whole town got hit by a...a bomb? And there were those crazy people, and, and I got hit by one of them. It was just a scratch but soon after, I started getting sick. Like, really sick.

(Eventhough it's not that cold in Ruri's office, Tara shivers as the memory comes back.)

Ruri, I think I...I think I died.

[hontobakabaka.livejournal.com]

As I remember, I was with Taiwan, hiding in her area. I was genetically altered when I was in the artificial womb to be mostly resistant to radiation, but... No one else was. I watched several people die, so, it is possible.

The town wanted us all to die. Some of us weren't and we got to watch lots of people die, and some were strong enough to shake it off till the thing ended but, I think the town admins were just being worse than usual. I'm told they do that to prove a point since death is... Temporary here.

[forgotten-titan.livejournal.com]

What sort of point are they trying to make!?

(Tara sounds angry and upset here.)

They've already made our lives miserable here. They've already proven that they're winning, or maybe they've even won. What they did to us...

(She grips the hand rests on her seat so tightly till her knuckles turn white.)

...why? It's just wrong.

[hontobakabaka.livejournal.com]

The thing is they haven't won. People still resist, I'm still me, you are still you. We still have bits of our mind and remember our homes.

Its terrible but at least one of the admins of this place seems to want all of that to go away. The others, I don't know.

[forgotten-titan.livejournal.com]

But what's the point!?

(She snaps back. Dying such a slow horrible death...only to come back the next day, and to know it can happen again and again...it's too much for her.)

Why fight back, if they're just going to keep messing with us!? Nobody's gotten out of Mayfield unless they were droned, and even then some of them come back.

(She slumps against the chair, defeated.)

There's no escaping this place, is there?

[hontobakabaka.livejournal.com]

I went home for 2 and a half years, but I was droned here. Perhaps the permanent droning is the way out, perhaps not. That being said, you see glitches in their little world and it gives me at least hope that perhaps something can be done to find a way out.

I can't say if there is a way out, I can say that I myself have not given up looking. I have wanted to give up, but, there are good people here that I don't want to give up on, and I keep meeting more good people.

[forgotten-titan.livejournal.com]

...is it so bad to stay here?

(The words come out of her mouth before she can stop them. But it's been on her mind for awhile, and once they're out, there's no stopping them.)

I mean, yeah we were kidnapped, but what if everyone just listened to the town authorities and did what we were told to do? Maybe they'd stop all these stupid events and let us live our lives, maybe even let us go home for good behavior.

[hontobakabaka.livejournal.com]

For some people it isn't, for others it is. It really is more of a personal question. For me, if they didn't do horrible things all the time and torture us, I have enough connections to not mind staying here. That being said back home I have someone very important to me that needs my help.

[forgotten-titan.livejournal.com]

...






I want my dad.

(And now the waterworks start.)

[hontobakabaka.livejournal.com]

[Ruri gets up and will quietly and softly hug her]

I'm sorry.

[forgotten-titan.livejournal.com]

(Tara hugs her back and cries into her shirt. It takes awhile before she starts to calm down slightly.)

[hontobakabaka.livejournal.com]

[Ruri will quietly hug her back, waiting from a cue from Tara to let go]

[forgotten-titan.livejournal.com]

(And eventually she does.)

I'm sorry...I didn't mean to *sniff* ruin your shirt.

[hontobakabaka.livejournal.com]

Its all right, it will dry out and it looks like you needed it.

[forgotten-titan.livejournal.com]

Y-yeah...

(She has a few more sniffles, but she does feel a lot better.)

T-thanks Ruri. I'm s-s-sorry you had to listen t-to me whine...

[hontobakabaka.livejournal.com]

Don't be sorry, we're human and we need people. Right?

[She smiles a little]

[forgotten-titan.livejournal.com]

But I'm...I'm useless. I can't help anyone, or, or do anything, without someone else. I'm always getting in people's way, and ruining it for everyone!

[hontobakabaka.livejournal.com]

What do you mean help anyone? Just being someone's friend can be a great help. As for getting in the way, we all do that sometimes.

We're all only human, that's all we can expect to be.

[forgotten-titan.livejournal.com]

But I get in the way all the time. I try to help people, but all I do is make it worse, both for me and for them. Other people don't mess up, only I do.

That's not being human, that's being stupid.

[hontobakabaka.livejournal.com]

Its being young and inexperienced. Its making your own mistakes and finding your own path. I'm kind of envious because I never really got to do that growing up. Everything was simulations and then when it wasn't, I had to go and foster open rebellion against both major governments of my solar system.

[forgotten-titan.livejournal.com]

...you started a rebellion? Why?

(Just something to distract herself from how down she's feeling.)

[hontobakabaka.livejournal.com]

There was a war over a piece of alien technology. Both sides wouldn't give up wanting it, and millions were dying. So, the Nadesico stole it and sent it to a place no one could find it, so there was nothing to war over anymore.

We weren't associated with either military at that point as we stole the Nadesico when the orders we got were exceptionally stupid, and after both sides calmed down things got a lot better.

[forgotten-titan.livejournal.com]

...at least your plan worked. Mine never do.

[hontobakabaka.livejournal.com]

It wasn't my plan. It was Yurika's. I learned a lot about planning from her.

Maybe, you just need to find people to help you figure out how you do what you want to.

[forgotten-titan.livejournal.com]

...

Or maybe I'm just such a major screw-up. I just...I don't know, I just feel like I can't help anyone. And even if I do, I just know that something bad will happen.

(She grips her hands together, her voice tight.)

I just have this bad feeling...