Memory 003: (Backdated to after the Thanksgiving nuclear event)

[forgotten_titan]

(When Tara woke up after her first death, her initial reaction was to throw her quilt covers off and gasp for air. Dying from radiation poisoning is horrible, and the slow death had definitely hit her hard. Things get even more confusing for her when she notices that she's back in her bed, totally healthy and alive. She scrambles for the curtains; the sight of Mayfield, back to normal, both relieves her and scares her.)

Action: 625 Topper Street and around

(Tara's inching out the door of her house nervously. She keeps looking around, half-expecting a cannibal to pop out of nowhere. There's a box out on the doorstep that has her name on it though, so she HAS to go out. Unwrapping it where she stands, her apprehension changes to surprise, then happiness, and then sadness as she stares at the photograph of her and her father that Mayfield had just sent to her.

If you're around, you'll notice her staring glumly at the picture. Wanna ask her how she's feeling?)

Action: Mayfield High
(She seems out of it today. Instead of studiously taking notes like usual during class, she just seems to be staring out the window vacantly, her pencil idly tracing around her books. Teachers may need to grab her attention before they'll get even a reaction out of her, while fellow classmates are free to ask her what's wrong.)

Phone
Ummm...hi, this might sound like a weird question to ask but...does anyone have any practice swords or something that I can borrow?

Comments

[hontobakabaka.livejournal.com]

It wasn't my plan. It was Yurika's. I learned a lot about planning from her.

Maybe, you just need to find people to help you figure out how you do what you want to.

[forgotten-titan.livejournal.com]

...

Or maybe I'm just such a major screw-up. I just...I don't know, I just feel like I can't help anyone. And even if I do, I just know that something bad will happen.

(She grips her hands together, her voice tight.)

I just have this bad feeling...

[hontobakabaka.livejournal.com]

[She seems unmoved by this and remains deadpan]

Tara. What do you want to do in life? Not what can you do. But when you dream, what do you dream of doing?

[forgotten-titan.livejournal.com]

(She remains silent for a long time, before she replies quietly:)

I want to be a travel journalist. I like going to new places, and I like writing. It seems the right thing for me to do, and how hard is it to mess that up?

[hontobakabaka.livejournal.com]

Well, then I'd start by finding someone good at writing to maybe give you some ideas.

If I may ask, if you weren't worried about messing things up, what would you want to do?

[forgotten-titan.livejournal.com]

I...I don't know. I always think I'm going to do something wrong; that way, if something bad happens, I won't feel too let down.

[hontobakabaka.livejournal.com]

I kind of understand that. Its like my view on feelings. If I don't show them, they won't ever get hurt.

[forgotten-titan.livejournal.com]

But if you don't show them, doesn't it still hurt inside? Like, there's this tight feeling that winds you up, and it won't go away?

[hontobakabaka.livejournal.com]

That's why 95% of the people, the other 19, in the program I was in broke and went mad. Its not an interesting story really.

[forgotten-titan.livejournal.com]

...so the moral of the story is "don't bottle up your feelings"?

[hontobakabaka.livejournal.com]

Not unless you were genetically altered not to have them. In that case, you still probably shouldn't, the odds aren't good.

[forgotten-titan.livejournal.com]

Ok...

I guess, this is me, talking about my feelings then...I kinda feel better. I think.

[hontobakabaka.livejournal.com]

And if you ever need someone to talk to, feel free to find me.

[She nods and smiles slightly]

[forgotten-titan.livejournal.com]

(There's a twitch near the corner of her mouth, as a small smile appears.)

Thanks Ruri. I'm...I'm still not totally alright. But I think I will be.

[hontobakabaka.livejournal.com]

[She nods]

Its a start, and anything worth doing is worth starting.

[forgotten-titan.livejournal.com]

Right. I'll remember that.

I...I guess I should get back to class huh? I've got science next period.

(She gets up to go.)

Thanks Ruri. I really mean it.

[hontobakabaka.livejournal.com]

You're welcome and tell Miss GLaDOS I said hi. Unless she has you working on differential quantum equations. Then just duck and cover.

[forgotten-titan.livejournal.com]

Urgh, tell me about it. I don't get half the stuff she's talking about in class. And I think she likes proving us wrong, or making our lives miserable. She's been throwing all these pop quizzes at us, and it's not even stuff that's covered in the textbooks!!

[hontobakabaka.livejournal.com]

She's angry at the low level of science here and you are just in the path of that anger. If you want I can get some printouts on quantum physics and such, but they are kind of advanced.

[forgotten-titan.livejournal.com]

Really? I don't really want to bother you anymore Ruri, I'm just one big pain in the neck these days.

[hontobakabaka.livejournal.com]

[She shakes her head]

Its no bother.

[forgotten-titan.livejournal.com]

OK then. I'll come by after school to pick them up?

[hontobakabaka.livejournal.com]

I'll have them ready for you then, and I'll try to put some notes in so they are more accessible to normal English.

[forgotten-titan.livejournal.com]

Sure!

Thank you so much Ruri! Maybe now I won't fail science class.

I'll see you after school then. Bye!

[hontobakabaka.livejournal.com]

[She smiles slightly and waves as Tera leaves]