Memory 003: (Backdated to after the Thanksgiving nuclear event)

[forgotten_titan]

(When Tara woke up after her first death, her initial reaction was to throw her quilt covers off and gasp for air. Dying from radiation poisoning is horrible, and the slow death had definitely hit her hard. Things get even more confusing for her when she notices that she's back in her bed, totally healthy and alive. She scrambles for the curtains; the sight of Mayfield, back to normal, both relieves her and scares her.)

Action: 625 Topper Street and around

(Tara's inching out the door of her house nervously. She keeps looking around, half-expecting a cannibal to pop out of nowhere. There's a box out on the doorstep that has her name on it though, so she HAS to go out. Unwrapping it where she stands, her apprehension changes to surprise, then happiness, and then sadness as she stares at the photograph of her and her father that Mayfield had just sent to her.

If you're around, you'll notice her staring glumly at the picture. Wanna ask her how she's feeling?)

Action: Mayfield High
(She seems out of it today. Instead of studiously taking notes like usual during class, she just seems to be staring out the window vacantly, her pencil idly tracing around her books. Teachers may need to grab her attention before they'll get even a reaction out of her, while fellow classmates are free to ask her what's wrong.)

Phone
Ummm...hi, this might sound like a weird question to ask but...does anyone have any practice swords or something that I can borrow?

Comments

[forgotten-titan.livejournal.com]

I wish I could. But I'm not strong, whether it's physical or mental. I can't take care of myself, I can't save my friends, I can't help anyone!!

(Her voice gets angrier and angrier as she speaks, letting out some feelings that have been bottled up inside.)

And even if I try, I just mess things up. I'm just useless.

[apathetic-lion.livejournal.com]

[ And that'll cause him to slam a fist down on his desk and shoot a glare to her. More out of annoyance than anger. ]

Don't give me that shit. Everyone has potential. You've only decided to give up before you've ever really tried. You're saying you're useless? You know why? Because you're not doing anything to change that. You have to be willing to make changes and sacrifices, to constantly train yourself until you're finally what you want to be.

[forgotten-titan.livejournal.com]

Hey, I did try!

(She stares back at him fiercely.)

When everything blew up, I didn't give up. I searched for food, tools, anything useful I could find. And when those crazy people attacked, I didn't just run and hide. I stayed to fight and help others!! Even when-

(And that's when the memory hits her hard and her voice dies halfway. Her body starts trembling again, and she feels the urge to vomit. She quickly lurches away from him, one hand over her mouth. She can almost taste the blood tang in her mouth.)

[apathetic-lion.livejournal.com]

[ ...Oh. He didn't exactly mean to bring anything like that up. He was just trying to give her some awkward encouragement. Obviously this has gone horribly wrong. Doesn't help that Squall isn't the best person at handling his own emotions, much less someone else's. He'll just end up sighing and throwing his head back. ]

Then don't say you can't do anything. You just proved you did. It doesn't matter how ineffectual you may have been. You have to repeat something over a least a million times before you can ever hope to be confident.

[forgotten-titan.livejournal.com]

(She doesn't want to die a million times over again Squall, before she gets confident. That might just break her instead. However, she takes a deep, deep breath and steadies herself. A good talk with Ruri earlier had really helped.)

I know. I guess...everything's just a bit too much now. All this dying...

(She shakes her head, sad.)

I mean, I'm just a normal school girl; the most dangerous thing I've come into contact with is trigonometry, not people out to eat me. I know that a normal life is not an option anymore, not here, and I'm trying to accept that, but...

...I think I probably need more time.

[apathetic-lion.livejournal.com]

[ Geez he didn't mean dying a million times silly! Then again he's sort of died before this incident so it really doesn't bother him as much oops... ]

Then take all the time you need. My offer still stands, regardless. I'm not going to pressure you into anything, so you can come when you're ready.

[forgotten-titan.livejournal.com]

...thanks Squall. I'm still trying to find those practice swords; I put out a call a few weeks ago, but I never got anything back. I might try putting up posters next.